Saturday 12 August 2017

Surviving an Affair

God can bring blossoms of joy out of the dirt of your despair

On August 12, 1988, my husband, Patrick, confessed he'd committed adultery.

His revelation was as unbelievable as if someone had told me the moon had fallen from the sky. The man who told me he'd lived a secret life of sexual sin seemed so different from the man to whom I'd been married for nine years.

But as the months went by, Pat found the strength to change, and our marriage was slowly, painfully restored. I discovered I needed God's grace as much as Pat did. And I had to choose-with God's help to remember that if God could forgive Pat's wrongs, I could, too. Today, almost 11 years after Pat's confession, thanks to God's love and power, our life together is better than ever before.

As I share my story of hurt and hope, women often reveal the terrible traumas their husbands have gone through infidelity, bankruptcy, depression, rebellion against God. But you can't "fix" your husband; you can only pray for him. When you come to the end of yourself, God will come through.

I've learned that, as a Christian, forgiveness isn't optional. But I don't think we ever forget the pain. Suffering teaches us deep truths about God's grace and love.

A few years ago, Pat surprised me by planting tulip bulbs in our flower beds. For many months-before beautiful tulips bloomed everywhere-all I saw was dirt pelted by rain. That's just like life. Sometimes all we see is the dirt watered by our tears. But God promises to bring back our joy (Isaiah 61:1-3). If you or your husband are hurting right now, trust God to bring blossoms of joy out of the dirt of your despair. He brought joy and laughter back into our lives; he can do it for you, too.

cred-Connie Neal as told to Jane Johnson Struck

The is article first appear on Todays Christian Woman

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